Father's Day SMS

The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
 
→ So many wonderful moments we have spent together, so many wonderful years in all kinds of weather, thinking of u father brings memories to mind, wonderful moments i ll treasure, these u give me sincerely that's why my dad , I love u so dearly.
Happy Father's Day My dear dad!

→ Every mother generally hopes that
her daughter will snag a better husband
than she managed to do…
but
she’s certain that her boy will never
get as great a wife as his father did.

→ Life has 5 stars.
Kind star is MOTHER.
Action star is FATHER.
Ultimate star is TEACHER.
Top star is LOVER.
The super star is FRIEND.
 
→ Dad, your guiding
hand on my shoulder
will remain with me forever.
Happy Father’s Day
 
→ So many wonderful moments we have spent together,
so many wonderful years in all kinds of weather,
thinking of u father brings memories to mind,
wonderful moments i ll treasure,
these you give me sincerely that’s why my dad ,
I love you so dearly.
Happy Father’s Day My dear dad
 
→ The greatest gift
I ever had
Came from God;
I call him Dad!
Happy Father’s Day
 
→ I want to go back to the time,
When getting high meant on a swing.
When drinking meant applie juice.
When Mom was the only Hero.
When Dad shoulders were the highest place on earth.
When the only thing that could hurt,
were skinned knees.
When the only things broken were toys.
and
When good bye meant Tommorrow.
 
→ One
father
is
more
thana
hundred
School
masters.
Happy Father’s Day
 
→ Thanks for being there through the tears,
laughter and dirty diapers. Happy Father’s Day!
 
→ God made a father who is,
as sweet as a nectar,
as brave as a lion,
as cheerful as a bear,
and he gave such dear father to me.
 
→ If the relationship of
father to son could
really be reduced to biology,
the whole earth would blaze
with the glory of fathers and sons.
Happy father’s day.
 
→ I know just the person who needs “101 Ways to Be a Great Dad”.Don”t worry it isn”t you! Happy Fathers”Day!
 
→ Happy Father's Day means more than flowers and gifts
It means saying 'Thank You'
It means saying 'I Love You'
You are the best dad, and my best friend
Today is your day.
Let's celebrate it together.
Cheers!
 
→ Daddy you are the best,
although you live in the west.
stay the way you are,
while your driving your sports car.
You couldn’t be a better dad
oh yeah, don’t go driving around mad
I love you for ever
’cause you’r really clever
Even though i puss and shove
I will still show all my love
 
→ A Father Is Someone That
Holds Your Hand At The Fair
Makes Sure You Do What Your Mother Says
Holds Back Your Hair When You r Are Sick
Brushes That Hair When It Is Tangled Because Mother Is Too Busy
Lets You Eat Ice Cream For Breakfast
But Only When Mother Is Away
He Walks You Down The Aisle
And Tells You Everything Gonna Be Ok
 
→ I”d go through stretch marks again for you.
Happy Fathers” Day, darling husband.
 
→ God gave me the greatest gift I ever had,
God gave me a best friend in the form of my dad.
Father’s Day wishes for a dad who is one in a million!
 
→ Happy Fathers Day
Happy Fathers day means more
than have a happy day
It means i love you first of all
Then thanks for all you do
It means you mean a lot to me
and that I honor you
 
→ Some things are just better the way they are like you!
Happy Fathers”Day!
 
→ For the best dad who always had a smile for me.
Though we may be far apart right now,
But here’s a big hug and kiss for you
To let you know how special you are
Happy Father’s Day!
 
→ Be kind to the father,
for when they were young,
Who loved these so fondly as he?
He caught the first accents that
fell from the tongue,
And joined in the innocent glee
 
→ It is easier for a father to have children
than, for children to have a real father.
I’m glad to have u Dad, Happy Father’s Day!
 
→ Thanks for being there through the tears, laughter and dirty
diapers. Happy Father”s Day!
 
→ To my dad on his day,
Of whom I am a living will:
May your happiness fulfill
Your goodness, as is just and right.
Deeds are seeds upon the night
As wind and wonder have their way,
Delivering the destined light.
 
→ Dad you are never wrong
The only time you are wrong
is when you think,
I forgot about you.
Love you Dad!
Have a grand Father’s Day!
 
→ Fathers need not fathers be.
All one needs to do is choose
To love for life, and that embrace,
Held long and hard, bestows the grace
Each craves. For all in time must lose,
Restored alone by memory.
So now it is with you and me.
 
→ So many wonderful moments we have spent together,
So many wonderful years in all kinds of weather,
Thinking of u father brings memories to mind,
Wonderful moments i ll treasure,
These u gave me sincerely thats why my dad ,
I love u so dearly.
Happy Father’s Day
 
→ Fathers can be solitary mountains,
All their love rock-like, steep, and strong.
Though warm and caring, somehow they belong
Halfway home to mothers’ bubbling fountains.
Each of us needs love that knows no quarter,
Reminding us of bonds that cross a border,
Strengthening our sense of right and wrong.
 
→ Happy Happy Father’s Day
Here’s A Little Song To Say
“Happy, Happy Father’s Day”
No One’s Father Is So Sweet.
Your Kind Ways Just Can’t Be Beat.
Happy Happy Father’s Day;
I Love You In A Big Way!!
 
→ Daddy, I love you
For all that you do.
I’ll kiss you and hug you
‘Cause you love me, too.
You feed me and need me
To teach you to play,
So smile ’cause I love you
On this Father’s Day

→ I Cannot Think Of
Any Need In Childhood
As Strong As The Need
For A Father’s Protection.
Happy Father’s Day!
 
→ F.A.T.H.E.R.S.
“F” aithful.
“A” lways there.
“T” rustworthy.
“H” onoring.
“E” ver-loving.
“R” ighteous.
“S” upportive.
 
→ If father is happy then God is happy and if father is angry the God also angry so try to happy your father.
 
→ Little girl & her father crossing a bridge.
Father Said: Please hold my hand
Girl: No dad.. You hold my hand.
Father: Whats the difference?
Girl: If I hold your hand & something happens to me.
Chances are that I may let your hand go,
but if you hold my hand,
I know for sure,
you will never let my hand go..!
 
→ You’ve seen me laugh
You’ve seen me cry
And always you were there with me
I may not have always said it
But
thanks and I love you
Happy Father’s Day

Sardar SMS Jokes

→ Two Sardar stopped suddenly.
1st Sardar: OMG! My wife and my girlfriend coming together.
2nd Sardar: Mine too.

→ A sardar goes to a restaurant
and his cell phone rings.
Wife: How are you?
Surprised Sardarji:Oji I am fine but
how did you know where I was?

→ How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from
the book when the teacher erases the board.
 
→ Sardarji to others:
Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?
One said, Yes I didSardar: Well, it’s your lucky day,
I found the rubberband!

→ A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant
and puts his finger
on the last of menu: Bring this.
Waiter: Oh! you can’t get it
because he is the owner of restaurant.

→ A small 2 seater plane was crashed in graveyard.
A Sardar was investigation officer.
In report he said:
500 dead bodies are found
and digging for rest.

→ Sardar at an Art Gallery:
I suppose this horrible looking thing is
what you call modern art ?

Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

→ Interviewer: Where were you born?Sardar: Punjab.
Interviewer: Which part?Sardar: What which part, whole body was born in Punjab. “;-)
 
→ Sardar’s wish : when i die,
I wanna die like my grandpa
who died peacefully in his sleep
not screaming
like all the passengers in the
car he was driving..
 
→ Sardar and Pathan going somewhere together.
They found 1000 Rs. on the way.Pathan: Let’s take 50/50.Sardar: What will do of remaining 900?
 
→ Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket.
Dealer gave 11cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar:
“Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.”
 
→ A Sardar and his wife filed an application for divorce.
Judge asked: How will you divide?
You have 3 children.Sardar replied: OK! We will apply next year.
 
→ NURSE kept SARDAR’S FINGER in HER MOUTH
after BLOOD TEST.
THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .NURSE:y r u DANCING.SARDAR:next is URINE TEST
 
→ Waiter gives bill to SardarSardar: Take my card.
Waiter: But sir, this is Ration Card.Sardar: So what?
You have written outside
“ALL CARDS ACCEPTED”
 
→ Sardar told his servant:
Go and water the plants. Servant
it’s already raining. Sardar: So what?
Take an umbrella and go.
 
→ Judge: Why are you arrested?Sardar: For shopping early?
Judge: Well, thats not a crime, anyway how early you were shopping?Sardar: before opening the shop…,
 
→ Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife.
Two seconds later a report came
to his phone and he started dancing.
The report said, “DELIVERED”.
 
→ Interviewer: Congrats, you are selected.
Your 1st month salary is Rs: 6000.
Next month salary will be 10000.Sardar: Ok sir, I’ll Join next month.
 
→ Sardar proposed a girl……
Girl said am 1 yr elder to u…….Sardar said Oye no problemsoniye I’ll marry u next year.
 
→ Sardar on phone: Doctor my wife is pregnant.
She is having pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?Sardar: No this is her husband speaking.
 
→ 2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.sardar 2 : Don’t worry, I have a one more.
 
→ How do you sink a submarine
filled with sardars..?.
.
.
.
Just knock the door.
 
→ Astrologer: you must married only 32 years old women to start a happy life.sardar: shall I married two 16 years old girls
 
→ On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him,
“Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring?”Sardar : “Ya sure, from landline or mobile”.
 
→ As train start running,
a sardar got the train.
TT: Don’t you see it’s female bogie?Sardar: Sorry, I thought you were a man.
 
→ Doctor to sardar : You will die within 2 hours.
Do you want to see any one before you die?Sardar : Yes. A good doctor.
 
→ Sardar: Will you marry me?
Girl: Sorry I am a lesbian.Sardar: What’s a lesbian?
Girl: I like to sleep with girls.Sardar: Give me a hand… I am also lesbian
 
→ Sardar was busy removing
a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are
you removing a wheel from your auto.sardar : Cant you read the board.
Parking is only for 2 wheeler
 
→ Sardar had twins. He named Tara & Sitara.
Again twins, He named Peter & Repeater.
Again twins, He named Max & Climax.
Again twins, finally He named STOP & FULLSTOp:-)
 
→ Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked “what you did till evening?”Sardar :”Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright”
 
→ Teacher: “I killed a person”
convert this sentence into future tenseSardar: The future tense is “You will go to jail”
 
→ Sardar comes back to his car&
find a note saying ‘Parking Fine’
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole
‘Thanks for compliment.’
 
→ Sardar complained to the police: ‘Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.’
Police: ‘How the thief did not take TV?’
Ah Beng : ‘I was watching TV news…’
 
→ Sardar got into a bus on 1st April
when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/-
and took the ticket and said april fool.
I have pass.
 
→ Sardar: I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.Sardar: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
 
→ Sardar bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone
from his Phone Book & said,
My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610
 
→ A sardarji photographer is focusing
a dead body’s face in a funeral function,
suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him.
why? He said “SMILE PLEASE”
 
→ Sardar was giving his medical entrance exam
He gave definitions as follows:
Antibody:
Against everybody
Artery:
Study of fine art paintings
Cardiology:
Advanced study of playing cards
CT scan:
Scanning 4 lost whistle..
Coma:
Punctuation mark
Bacteria:
Back door to a cafeteria…
 
→ Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”
 
→ A sardar goes to an electronics shop to buy a TV.
Do you have color TVs?
Sure.
Give me a green one, please.
 
→ Police:Instead of hospital why did u take ur wife to COMEDY MOVIE during pregnancySardar: ALL the child were crying when they born
I want my child to laugh so i take my wife TO CINEMA
 
→ Teacher: What is tha difference between orange & apple?Sardar: The color of orange is orange but the color of apple is not apple.
 
→ A bird was disturbing to a Sardar.
Finally Sardar caught it and decided to kill it cruelly,
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it
 
→ Boss asked Sardar
to buy two corner tickets for a movie
to watch with his Girlfriend.Sardar bought two corner tickets:
A1…………….A25
 
→ A sardar ji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.
He writes a love letter to the Nurse :-
I Love You sister….
 
→ Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked: Why are you writing so slowly?Sardar: Im writing to my 6 years old son,
he cant read very fast.
 
→ Teacher: How Do You Differentiate
“WIFE” & “MOTHER” 

→ SARDAR:
Before Marriage We Sleep With “MOTHER”&
After Marriage
We Sleep With Our “WIFE
→ Sardar As A Director:
You Have To Jump In The Swimming Pool From 100.ft Height.
Hero: I Don’t Know SwimmingSardar: Oye Don’t Worry Yaar! Pool Is Empty;-)

→ Teacher told all students
in a class to write an essay
on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote No match, due to rain!!!

→ Sardar: ‘Doctor, my son swallowed a key.’
Doctor: When?Sardar: 3 months ago.
Doctor: What were u doing till now?Sardar: We were using duplicate key.
Doctor: So why have u come today?Sardar: We ve lost the duplicate key !!!

→ Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?Sardar: BA
Professor:For sodium?Sardar: NA
Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA
& 2 atoms of NA combined?Sardar: BANANA

→ Sardar in airoplane going to Bombay.
While its landing he shouted:
“Bombay ….Bombay”
Airhostess said: “B silent.”Sardar: “Ok… Ombay… Ombay”
 
→ Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower
& red light glowing on the top,
seeing this he said India is developing fast,
see there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air
 
→ Teacher: What happen on 1869?Sardar: I don’t know.
Teacher: Stupid its birthday of Gandhi G.
Now tell me what happen on 1873?Sardar: Its 4th birthday of Gandhi G:-)
 
→ In bio practical:Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it’s legs only?Sardar:I don’t know.Examiner:You failed, what’s your name?Sardar:See my legs & tell my name
 
→ Sardar after interview
everything went fine till the time
he asked me for testimonials.
I guess i showed him the wrong thing !!!

Santa Banta SMS

→ Santa: Oye! What are you?
Banta: Recording this baby’s voice.
Santa: Why?
Banta: When he grows up.”
”
”
I shall ask him what he meant by this.
→ A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,
Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies,
I'm coming daily since 4 days,
I press the bell but no one comes out
→ A Girl Romantically said to a santa: Do U want to see the place
where they did Apendix Operation to me?santa: No, I hate Hospitals.
→ Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him. Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank's slogan was: We make your dreams come true...
→ Santa: Why did the man put his radio in his refrigerator?
Banta: I give up.
Santa: Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool music
→ santa asks banta to bring a pepsi. banta brings a bottle of pepsi
but goes directly to Tendulkar.
why ?? why ??Ans: Tendulkar is an opener.
→ Pappu: Dad, what is an idiot?
Santa: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?Pappu: No.
→ Banta was repeatedly buying a movie ticket
seller asked why?
Banta: some stupid standing near the door
is tearing my ticket every time.
→ Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.
Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.
→ Santa ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house…
still he was in jail…….why?
coz all the 6 were firebrigade staff !
→ Banta Went for Divorce
Judge: You have 3 Kids
How Will you Divide Them?
Banta Thinks Hard & Says,‘Oye.. IDEA, We’ll Come Next Year With 1 More
→ It was Santa’s weding aniversary.Preeto: Shall v hav Tandoori chicken to celebrate?
Santa: Y punish da poor chicken for da mistake v hav made
→ Doctor asks Santa to give urine sample, stool & sperm sample for his yearly checkup.
Santa: I'm in a hurry doc, can I leave my underwear!
→ SANTA goes 2 a hotel & after eating he goes 2 wash his hands,
but start washing the basin Manager:What r u doing?
SANTA: U have written here “WASH BASIN.”
→ Shopkeeper: This sweater's made of pure virgin wool sir.
Santa: You see I am not interested in the morals of the sheep. Just tell me, will it keep me warm?
→ Santa-Banta broke a bank,
but instead of cash they find
bottles of chilled red wine.
happily they drink and left
next day headline
~ Braking News ~
“Blood Bank Robbed”
→ Teacher: What is common betweenBuddha,Jesus ,Mahavir and Guru Nanak?
Santa: All of them were born on government holidays
→ Banta to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Banta: So what, take an umbrella and go.
→ Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators
→ A friend asks SANTA how was ur exam?
SANTA: It was ok but i couldn”t answer past tense of THINK.
I thought, thought & finally i wrote “THUNK”.
→ Santa cuts sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess why?.
.
.
To avoid the side effects!
→ Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.

→ What is the chemical formula 4 water?
SANTA: HIJKLMNO.
Teacher: wht r u talking abt? SANTA:Yesterday u said H to O
→ A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
→ Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.
Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?
→ Santa: What”s difference between man & Superman?Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser
& superman wears it over the trouser.
→ Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else?
→ Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM
→ Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?


Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
→ Santa walks into a library & says, “Can I have a burger and coke?”
Librarian, “I’m sorry, this is a library.
” Santa whispers, “Can I have a burger & coke?”
→ santa opens his lunch box in the middle of the road why?
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from office.
→ Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!"
→ Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: ‘Free Delivery’
→ santa bunks office comes home & finds his wife in bed with his
boss. Rushes back to office & tells his colleagues almost got caught bunking?
→ Santa (reading from book of facts):
“Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?”
Banta: “Why don’t you use a mouth wash?”
→ Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The stearing, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.
→ Jeeto: If I die what ‘ll you do?
Santa: I may also die.Jeeto: Why?
Santa: Some time too much of happiness can also kill a man
→ One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling,om our Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure, Give me your Telephone No
→ How did santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
→ santa : “I saw my Wife going 2 a movie with a strange Man.”
Friend : “Did u follow them inside?”
“No yaar,” replied santa “I had already SEEN the Movie !”
→ Santa giving exam while standing at the door.
A man asked "Why are you standing at the door?"
Santa: "Idiot, I am giving entrance test."
→ Titanic was sinking.
An Englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
→ Santa looking at himself in the mirror, "I have seen this man somewhere".
After half an hour, "Oh, its the same man, who married my wife."
→ Wht is the limit of foolishness?
Santa singh n banta singh fighting for a window seat on a two wheeler scooter.
→ Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
→ A friend to Sardar:
Last year the Name-Plate
outside your house
I read Santa Singh B.A
This year I read Santa Singh M.A
When did you finish yours Master Degree..?Sardar: You don’t understand.
Last year my wife died.
I put B.A. to indicate Bachelor Again.
Then I took a second wife,
so
M.A is married again
→ Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform.
→ Q: How did Santa cheat the railways?
A: He bought the ticket and didn”t travel.
→ A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked
a question -
Interviewer – Who killed Gandhiji ?Sardar – Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.


→ Banta owned a factory.
He issued orders that only married
men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this ?
Bant reply:
Because married men are more obedient.

→ Lil Banta: I dreamed last night dat u gave me Rs 500 for Christmas.
Banta Singh: Well, as you”ve been a good boy lately, you may keep it.
→ Banta: What”s the difference between an oral thermometer and a
rectal thermometer?
Santa: The taste.
→ Santa: WHat is another difference between a mosquito and a fly?
Banta: A fly can fly but a mosquito cannt mosquito.
→ Banta:When did George Washington die? Santa: 2 days b4 his funeral
→ Banta: tell me five FERROUCIOUS animals that you can think of……
Santa: 3 lions and 2 tigers.


→ Banta ask santa: what will you
advise your children about marriage?

Santa declares: I’ll never marry in my life and
I’ll give same advice to my children also.

→ santa had called an Englishman for lunch. There was curd on the
table. The guest asked what is this? santa didn”t know English,
he said “Milk sleeping in night,morning becomes tight”
→ An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
→ Santa is so rich he has two swimming pools,
one of which is always empty?It”s for people who can”t swim!
→ A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies,
I’m coming daily since 4 days,
I press the bell but no one comes out.
→ Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar?
Driver: Which part? Santa Singh: All of me, of course!